Have you ever noticed that when you are finally dating someone that you are into, you suddenly are getting hit on or approached by strangers left and right? Sometimes, it’s even your exes or that guy or girl who ghosted you out of the blue who now suddenly reappear as soon as you are seeing someone?
Have you also noticed that it seems to be much easier to get job interviews or offers when you are already employed?
Well, I’m here to tell you why both of these scenarios often occur in both our dating lives and work lives and they both have to do with NEED.
When our needs aren’t currently being met, it’s only natural that we will show up with an energy of desperate urgency. And understandably so! If your mindset (no matter how subconsciously) is “I’ve got to get this or I’m doomed”, it will be next to impossible for you NOT to emit this type of desperate energy.
If you have ever heard of vibrational energy or studied ideas like manifestation or vibrational frequency, this will make sense to you: we are all beings of energy and we all connect energies when we come into each other’s space. Sometimes this can even happen over the phone or online without being in person at all!
Have you ever had someone get behind you in line at a store and immediately felt like you wanted to get away from them without them even speaking or looking at you? This is due to the energy they are unconsciously vibrating with. And the opposite can also occur. Maybe you have been distracted with work or stressful thoughts and walked into a restaurant or coffee shop to quickly grab something and suddenly felt your negative thoughts dissolve if the person serving you was warm and friendly? This is due to the positive, calming energy this person emitted.
We are all instinctual creatures at our core and we can instantly sense a person’s energy within moments. So when we show up to a date or a job interview with an urgent, desperate energy, how do we think that affects the other person or people we are in front of? This just might help you understand what has happened when you have been on a job interview that you KNEW you were a great fit for but strangely still did not get the offer. Or, when you have had what felt like a good date with someone and spent hours talking and laughing with them. And ironically enough, they probably don’t know themselves why they didn’t feel right about offering the job or asking for another date. Energy is subconscious but still instinctive.
So what can we do about this? Well, the first step is honoring and accepting yourself right where you are. If you are truly in need of a job or time with another human being, that’s OK! Everyone has these needs and there is 100% nothing wrong with you for having them. But accepting your needs and knowing how and WHEN to address them are two different things.
Let’s tackle the easier area of life’s needs(subjectively speaking of course), JOBS:
If you are in dire financial straits, have been out of work for awhile or left your job suddenly with little savings in the bank, you are going to have an urgent need for a paycheck. How could you not? But a job that gives you enough of a paycheck to get by with and a job that aligns with your dream career path are two different things.
So take care of your need first: find something that can supply enough income to keep you afloat WHILE you continue to apply, network and research potential dream career positions. Without that dire need for money hanging over your head, not only will you logistically give yourself more time and breathing room during your career search but your energy will be very different. You will no longer be coming from a place of scarcity and lack but a place of stability and security which will emit very different vibes to any prospective employer. And on a bonus note, this stable, secure mindset will also give your brain clarity to better evaluate the job openings and offers that come your way. Jobs that are not a good fit for you or employers that give off red flags will no longer be blindspots for you as your urgent need will no longer be clouding your vision.
Now, in my next post, let’s explore how this theory of energy applies to our dating love life as well.
Read on friends,
Coach Alicia
